Monday, February 22, 2010

Lauren Fletcher and the Terrible, Horrible, No-Good, Very Bad Day

Today, while I was putting on my make-up, I squirted foundation into my freshly-poured, ice-cold Diet Coke.

Then, after going to Lowe's, the car wash, Target and the grocery store, I got home and realized 
my leggings were on inside-out.

This afternoon, while I was making chili for dinner, I dumped an entire can of tomato sauce into the actual heated part of the Crock-Pot. Not the ceramic bowl. The heated, hard-to-clean part.

I'm moving to Australia.


Tuesday, February 16, 2010

The Orange Girl and Some Superfriends

Every season, I swear it's not going to get me.

And every season, it does.

I'm talking about The Bachelor.

Also known as the most pre-produced and heavily-edited show on the face of the planet.

I usually have plans on Monday nights, so I'll record it and gag through watch it later, as I did tonight.



Does the poor man need glasses? A brain transplant?

Vienna would be the one in the center. You know, the orange one with the really bad hair extensions.

If you're getting mad right now because you LIKE her and you WANT her to be the one he chooses, can you please tell me why? What have I missed? Nothing about her screams "hi-I'll-be-a-fabu-wife-and-mom".

But I could be wrong.

If he chooses her, I really hope I am.

What I am never wrong about, however, is whether or not it's a good idea to throw a party for some friends.

We recently enjoyed a Superbowl/Birthday party at mi casa with The Hutchings and Meagan and Chris.

As always, we had a blast.

Sweet Jack and Aunt Meag...

The birthday girl and two of the funniest boys ever...

Megan, Web, Vance and Jack...we will get to celebrate Vance's birthday at his party this weekend!

And lastly, Meag and I posing for a photo...with our own life-size "Where's Waldo?" character.
He just pops up everywhere! :)


Sunday, February 14, 2010

All I Wanted Was a Little Privacy

When you become a mommy, there are a few things you sacrifice.


Sitting down to eat.

Listening to Playhouse Disney for the 47th time while you'd rather be listening to 50 Cent something else.

Ok - so there's a lot of things.

Which is awesome. Most of the time.

#536 on the list: Private potty time.

Think it's ok to visit the ladies' room for 2 minutes and leave your toddler unsupervised?

Still think it's not a big deal to sneak to the WC while the two-year-old is "watching Little Einsteins"?

Still think it's gonna end well?

Think again:

Mmm-hmm. That would be my lipstick.
Loreal's High-Intensity Pigment "Allure", to be exact.

High-Instensity Pigment, indeed.

Needless to say, I will be having a wee chaperone with me in the ter-lit (my dad's term) for quite some time.

This was the first time Dawson ever "got into" anything like this, and I'm hoping it's the last. (Stop laughing).

In case you are wondering, the walls, carpet, bedding, etc. were spared.

The little man also got to experience another first recently...SNOW!

It snowed roughly three inches in Chattanooga when we were visiting my family, and this is the snowlady that my dad and Krystal built. My mother named her "Maggie" because of her uber-posh magnolia hat.

Happy Valentine's Day!


Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Reporting Live

It never fails.

Whenever there is a live news broadcast of any kind, there will always be at least one freakazoid who will do or say anything to get on TV.

You know, the beer-bellied guy at the football game making weird faces behind the reporter while she's on camera.

The redneck in the huge black truck laying on the horn as he drives behind the reporter while she's on camera talking about the wreck that just happened.

My point?

My son is going to be that person.

Say cheese.


Monday, February 1, 2010

So Stinkin' Behind

I feel like I haven't posted in forever.

Oh, wait - that's right - I haven't.

One reason is that we're just busy.

Another is that Dawson somehow got a hold of my camera last week and proceeded to take 52 photos of the floor, his shirt, the ceiling, the couch cushion, the inside of my purse and the toilet lid.

It's going to take me awhile to delete those and get to the photos you actually want to see.

Photos of a big snow and Dawson's first snowman...

One of what happens when a toddler finds a tube of lipstick...

As if you need a visual aid for that one.