Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Um, Riigghht

Suddenly, he's just not that attractive anymore.

Maybe it's the raging indecisiveness?

The constant crying?

The doe-eyed expression when he knows he's busted?

Oh, wait! I know!

It's the gene called jerkus ginormous that's been recessive until now!

Unless you've recently emerged from under a rock, you know what happened last night on the season finale of The Bachelor.

I think the programming manager at ABC accidently put Jerry Springer: The Slightly Classier Version in the time slot where The Bachelor was supposed to be.

I wanted Melissa to be the one. I really did. I think she's adorable and would be a great wife and mom. But even before the limos started their dramatic descent to the hilltop, I just knew he would choose Molly. Now - if you've never watched before, here's a tip: The girl to get out of the first limo? Is not the future missus.

So, I almost sprayed Diet Coke out of my nose when little Molly was in the first car last night.

I almost choked when "After the Final Rose" came on and Sir-Cries-A-Lot showed his posterior (in the figurative sense, of course. Or it really would've been like Jerry Springer.)

I have a tip for Molly:



Conjure whatever bit of FloJo you have and say "Holla!"

'Cause the boy ain't right. He just ain't right.



Lauren Kelly said...

That pretty much sums up how I feel!!! It was just flat out wrong. Some things are just not meant for national television and that was one of those moments and he did not need to do that for the entire world to see. Poor Melissa, and I hope Molly gets some smarts!!

Whitney said...

HILARIOUS!!!!!!! I am dying this is so funny!!!!
I'm with you - he obvi can't make a decision AND if he cried one more time I was going to throw something at my television. Someone needs to take away his man card.
And Nashville TOTALLY counts - I wish you would come if you wanted to make the drive!!!!!!!!!!!!!

michelle said...

girl i agree with you, he just aint right!! i couldnt believe it!! i wish molly wouldve told him no!!! thank u for this post :)

Jess :) said...

I soooooo agree with you! I was just incredibly upset last night. Not only that Mel didn't win (she was FOR SURE my choice), but that I ever once thought Jason was a good, decent guy! Hello here, J...Do you remember that you have a 4 year old son and he's a HUGE part of your life?!? Ever think about him anymore? Anyways, I could go on and on...and have all day with my co-workers. Like I posted on my blog...I heard all the rumors...but to find out that they were actually TRUE was just devastating.

All I want to see on the show tonight...is MELISSA...just to see how she's doing and what she has been up to. I could care less about anything else.

Thanks for letting me vent!

Betsy said...

OMG...you are so hillarious...and so RIGHT!! I really didn't watch the show this time, but I did see a little bit last night and that was enough for me!! Poor Melissa! :(

Megan L Hutchings said...

You are so hilarious! There is never a dull moment on that show. I am beginning to understand why he got divorced and D did not pick him!

Meagan said...

You know I'm anti-reality tv and didn't watch the season... I saw parts of like 2 episodes, but for you and moo I decided to watch the final episode so I could pretend to hold my own in the bachelor conversation that is sure to come... what a crock! I just kept thinking... "this isn't the bachelor, it's Jerri Springer" ... so you can imagine my laugh when I hopped on to read your post! My thoughts exactly! ;-)

Sophia Heath said...

ok, dont be mad her people... to be honest I DO NOT agree... I do feel for poor lil Jasons son. Jason is a little coo-coo. I do think he needs to slow down and take some time to think away from everyone and not be so quick to make a decision. He should not have proposed that is for sure. But, I think just becuase he chose melissa (who I DO not like) doesnt mean he has to marry her. Actually, I do not like either one of them. That is besides the point. Melissa is crazy... and he saw the real side of her FINALLY. Thank God he didnt marry that girl, I mean hello... what is with her family? the whole thing is weird with her and I KNOW for sure now that she is off the wall crazy. I still think Jillian should have won, she was the best on the whole show and actually knows the difference between a shirt and a dress (unlike Melissa) and atleast she left showing some class. Melissa would have been a TERRIBLE mother. It only went so well with Ty becuase she is a child herself. Anyways, that is how I feel. And as I quote she said "what is wrong with me?? I am always the dumpee" exactly sister....Plus they were broken up before the taping of "After the final rose". She showed no class and tried to make everyone think it was a suprise to her, but that wasnt the case. I am telling you she is NUTS!!!

Leigh Ann said...

Amen, sista!

I could NOT believe Molly was kissing on him after all she had been through. Craziness!!! You are right...he is so gross to me now!

Rosie said...

So I'm a little late checking your blog...but I totally agree...he is a scumbag with a totally warped sense of what love is. All he kept saying is "chemistry"...but hello, you gotta have more than chemistry when you're up at one a.m. with a screaming child...and more than chemistry when you 80 years old..if you know what I mean! He's a loser. Molly is gonna find that out soon enough, when he's tired of her. What a girl with all that crying. Even his son thought he was over the top!