"Let the Little Children Come to Me"

I was having lunch with a couple of friends yesterday when I overheard a conversation at the next table about Steven Curtis Chapman losing his young adopted daughter in a freak accident. A man said, "When you start wondering if there is a God, remember instances like this." The comment shocked me a little; it also made me sad to know that someone has such a cynical view of my God.

However, the comment also got me thinking. From an outside and worldly point of view, that is an appropriate reaction. What kind of "loving" God would allow such a thing to happen to a child? Why would He, who wants only the best for us, allow parents to go through hell on earth while he watches from heaven? The Chapmans and my aunt and uncle are not the only ones...our blog friend Angie has lost a daughter and a nephew within weeks of each other.

I can honestly say I truly do not know the reason for their suffering. I don't see what He sees; I would never even begin to understand Him. But He doesn't ask me to understand Him. He asks me to love Him.

Why didn't He heal Brooke? Why didn't He heal Audrey Caroline and why did Baby Luke die suddenly? He made the blind to see and the lame to walk...and that was thousands of years ago. Modern medicine not withstanding, what's one more miracle when You created the world?

Sitting at Brooke's funeral, I did not break down until the pastor illustrated my Papaw seeing Brooke and holding her in heaven. I selfishly and angrily thought, "You know, God? If you would have allowed both of them to live? We could see him holding her right now. My Papaw could hold my son, his great-grandson, right now. What joy that would have brought."

But again - I am not asked to understand why people live and why they don't. I'm only told to love and to obey the One that created us all.

What I do know is that in the 172 days that Brooke did live, she changed people's lives forever. From her tiny hospital bed, she made a lasting impression around the country and the world. I also know for a fact that people came to Christ during her funeral service. Steven Curtis Chapman's daughter didn't live long enough to have her first date or a new car or countless other things we deem special. However, she did live long enough to cause people to ask questions and allow the Chapmans to praise God, even in tragedy.

If becoming a mother has taught me anything, it is this: We are not guaranteed tomorrow. Every breath we take is truly a gift. And we do not know it all. Only He does.

And so yes, Dawson slept for a while in my bed with me last night. Why? Because I wanted to watch him sleep and hear him breathe. I eventually put him in his crib, but not until after I held him for a least an hour. He will never be this small again.

Jesus told us to come to Him with faith like a child. With no doubts, no agenda, no second-guessing. With reckless abandon, hope and wide-eyed wonder.

If you ever doubt that He is a loving God, or wonder why tragedies happen, remember this: God is no stranger to suffering. He knows what it's like to lose a child.