Lauren Fletcher and the Curse of the Fourth Indiana Jones Movie

Dawson and Mommy outside the movie theatre

Don't get me wrong. I love me some Indy. So much so that I know lines from all 3 previous movies and had what could be classified as a slight crush on the youngest Prof. Jones. So it was with anticipation and high expectations that I eagerly went to take in the movie on Friday night with mi familia (Dawson's first cinematic experience, yay!).

(Sigh.) Ladies and gents, I must tell you...I was not impressed.

It was great until the alien part. Mama doesn't do aliens. Or spaceships. Or anything remotely related to sci-fi. Which, unfortunately, describes the entire last half of the flick. (If you haven't seen it yet and I just ruined it for you, sorry! Maybe I saved you $8! Or $45 if you include snacks!). (By the way? E.T. is excluded in this. He's too cute. And he eats Reese's Pieces.)

When a movie bores me or I'm just not into it, I find my mind wanders. If you were to have sneaked a peek into my brain during the movie, you would have encountered the following thoughts:

"Man, Harrison looks old. Wait. He is old. I wonder how much plastic surgery he's had? Do you think he carried his whip into the O.R. with him in case things starting getting dicey?"

"Speaking (thinking?) of whip, I wonder if it's hard to snap that thing around like that. I bet if I did that, David would move a lot faster when I ask him to pick up his dirty clothes."

"Crap. Did I remember to get the sausage? I don't think you can make sausage balls without it. Yeah, that's right, I did. I think."

"Oh, geez!!! It's about aliens????!!!!!!! You've GOT to be KIDDING ME!! Steve, Steve, oh precious Stevie Spielberg...what were you thinking???"

"Well, that just totally ruined it. Do you think if I complained to Mr. Personality at the box office that he'd give me my money back? With interest since I had to sit through the first part in order to get to the part about the aliens?"

"It's over. Yay. I can't believe Dawson slept through the whole thing. Oh, wait, yes, I can...it was about aliens."