"How's Yer Mama An' Em?"

Today was wonderful because Krystal and Jason came over to watch Dawson while I ventured out to run errands and (yay!) go to the tanning bed. I love being with Little Man, but I must confess that it is rather nice not to have to cart him and his car seat/stroller around.

Towards the end of my Mommy Escape, I stopped in at a gas station to spend Dawson's college fund to fill up my Expedition (read bus). The pay-with-your-card-here option wasn't working at my pump, so I had to go inside to pay. I usually refrain from doing this for two reasons:

1) I don't enjoy smelling like an ashtray just to get gas.

2) The kind of people you run into at said gas station are usually the kind who a) smell like an ashtray anyway and b) insist on taking up too much of your precious time by standing in front of you in line, spending 20 minutes debating which kind of Skoal to buy. Regular? Wintergreen? So many choices!

I'm glad, however, that I had to go inside to pay today because I actually heard a man say to the cashier, "Hey, Lois! How's yer mama an' em?" I'm. Not. Kidding.

It's great because although I've heard people mockingly say this, I've never actually heard someone be totally serious when asking it.

I laughed myself back to my car and spent the drive home thinking of other Southern (redneck?) phrases that I've heard/used/never understood. Enjoy!

1) "Jew eatchet?" Meaning: Have you eaten yet?

2) "How we doin'?" Meaning: How are you?

3) "Purt near" Meaning: Pretty near, as in "close to" or "in the vicinity of"

4) "We might could." Meaning: Maybe we could.

5) "Going to town" Meaning: Running errands, i.e. grocery store, shopping, etc.

6) "Are y'all kin?" Meaning: Are you related?

7) "Can I hep you?" Meaning: May I help you?

8) "Over yonder" Meaning: Over there, far away, not close to, opposite of "purt near"

9) "She can talk the hind leg off a mule." Meaning: She talks a lot.( I'm not sure how one can talk so much it causes the leg of a donkey to fall off, but whatever.)

10) "Yont to?" Meaning: Do you want to?

11) "Where you been?" Meaning: I've been waiting for you.

12) "That's a fur piece." Meaning: That's a long way. Again, opposite of "purt near."

13) "Gimme some sugar." Meaning: Give me a kiss.

14) "I'm fixin' to. " Meaning: I'm about to.

15) "Kah-wit-it!" Meaning: Stop!

16) "I'm gonna go gitcher mama!" Meaning: Oooh, boy, you're in trouble.

Feel free to add some of your own!